What I'm Learning in the Waiting Season of Big Life Changes

Isn't it funny how dreams almost never unfold the way you planned?

God speaks something to your heart. He plants a dream deep inside you. And before you know it, you've already mapped out exactly how it's all going to happen.

Then...God gently reminds you that He never asked you to write the blueprint.

One verse has followed me around for the last several weeks:

"A person's heart plans his way, but the Lord determines his steps." Proverbs 16:9

Back in January, Josh and I were convinced that church planting in Florida was our next assignment.

So we gave God our "yes."

...with conditions.

(If you've ever done that, you know exactly where this is going.)

"Yes, Lord...in two years."

First, we need to learn more about leading well.

First, we need to learn how to leave well.

First, N needs to finish middle school.

First, we need to become more fluent in ASL.

First, we need to get our finances in a better place.

First...

First...

First...

Our list kept growing.

Meanwhile, I don't think God was asking for our timeline. I think He was simply asking for our obedience.

Just like Matthew 28, when Jesus told His disciples to "go and make disciples." He didn't say, "Go once you feel qualified." He didn't say, "Go after you've figured everything out." He simply said, Go.

So here we are.

Not quite there.

Not really here.

Living in the middle.

And honestly? The middle is a strange place to live.

We're preparing to leave while still pouring our hearts into the people God has called us to serve today.

We're dreaming about Florida while intentionally loving Buffalo well.

We're making plans...without packing boxes just yet.

It's an odd tension to hold.

Leaving a ministry that has been home for five years isn't easy.

These are people who have become family.

It's the familiar rhythms of everyday life, the grocery store where everyone recognizes you, the gas station that somehow always has the cheapest prices, the running routes you've memorized mile by mile, the coffee shops that know your order.

There is so much we'll miss.

And I want to be really clear...

We're not leaving because we don't love Buffalo. We're leaving because we do believe God gives assignments.

And sometimes faithfulness looks like staying.

Other times, faithfulness looks like going.

Neither is easy.

The waiting season has also brought plenty of questions.

Where are we going to live?

Where will the girls go to school?

Will T find another theater family? Will H find a dance studio she loves? What will N discover that helps her continue to grow and thrive?

Where will we buy groceries?

Where will we find really good coffee?

Will Josh and I find our new breakfast spot?

And...what job has God prepared for me?

Some days those questions feel heavy.

Because the truth is, the in between often comes with uncertainty.

But it's also teaching me something I don't think I would have learned any other way.

God isn't only waiting for us at the destination.

He's walking with us through the middle.

He's not pacing Heaven wondering how this is all going to work out.

He's not anxious.

He's not surprised.

He's not scrambling to put together Plan B.

He already knows.

His plans are good.

And because of that, I don't have to carry tomorrow before it arrives.

Lately I've found myself thinking about the Israelites standing at the edge of the Jordan River.

Before there was a Promised Land, there was a river to cross.

Before there was a new beginning, there was a season of trusting God one step at a time.

That's where we are.

Standing on the edge.

Not rushing the season we're in, but also believing with expectation for what's ahead.

When confusion creeps in...

When emotions feel heavy...

When I can't see the next step...

I remind myself of what Scripture says:

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but one of power, love, and sound judgment." (2 Timothy 1:7)

The waiting isn't wasted.

It's where trust grows.

It's where surrender gets deeper.

It's where faith becomes less about having answers and more about knowing the One who does.

Maybe that's the greatest lesson this season has taught me.

God isn't just preparing a place for us.

He's preparing us for the place.

And if I'm completely honest, I don't want to rush through that work.

Because one day we'll look back and realize the miracle wasn't only found in arriving.

It was found in discovering that God had been faithfully present in every step of the journey.